Happy Hysterversary! year one

One year…
Today is such a milestone in my life.
This year has been quite the rollercoaster ride of emotions. I can’t believe that last year this time I was preparing for the biggest change in my life, a decision that no women should ever have to make at any age. Yet, somehow God dealt me the cards and thought that I was the best fit to be able to handle making such a decision for myself, my future husband and my unknown future. When I think about the decision I made I wonder how I didn’t drive myself crazy, there was no way to know that exactly one year later life would be the same or different as it is now. It was a risk I was willing to take.



The memories of last year are etched in my mind so vividly; somehow I just can’t forget them. They replay in my mind over and over. Today I feel like I am in a constant battle of emotions wondering if the decision I made was the correct one for many reasons, yet somehow I feel that I wouldn’t change a thing because my life is perfectly content at this present time.



At 6 months post op I didn’t know how to ‘be’. I felt inadequate because there were things I wanted to do and still couldn’t do. In just 6 short months I have had the most enlightening experiences. I now understand for the first time how much my life and energy was consumed by my diseased uterus.



I look at a photograph of myself a year ago and I barely remember who that girl was. I know that she was scared, young and fearful of what the future held, but that is all I can remember. The mind has a funny way of blocking out the pain and heartache one once felt.


Since surgery the pain has diminished completely and I have an entirely new life. My endometriosis is in a quiet state of being and I own my life again. As I sit here I am in awe of who I have become over the past 12 months and I wonder who I will change into in another 12 months.



I feel as if I have transformed into a new women who finally has control of her life. Every morning when I wake up I have the upmost confidence that I can do anything I want to do because there is nothing stopping me physically from doing so. This in itself is what keeps me going from day to day; it’s a daily dose of personal inspiration.



While the pain is nonexistent there are many tasks at hand that need to be resolved. I am so afraid of showing someone else my imperfections. Relationships now are different than they used to be. I will allow someone to love me though. All in due time…


Brave, strong, role model, inspirational. All these plus more have been used in a sentence with my name in it. It’s amusing, because I don’t often feel like any of these. Most days I just feel like me. Wouldn’t anyone who had to make a decision such as this made the decision I made? I am just delighted that I can give my friends who suffer from endometriosis hope that someday their own life can be transformed as mine has been this year. Never lose hope girls.


I don’t think that I can entirely give myself all the credit for the way that I am today. Since the start of the endometriosis journey I have established the most amazing set of friends and support system in my life. There has ALWAYS been someone there for me in some way. I am SO thankful for that.


There are some people who have been there for me since the first official diagnosis, others at the midpoint, and others knew me right before the hysterectomy. I don’t love anyone less because you ALL have touched me in some way throughout the toughest parts of my life. Some people aren’t even in contact with me anymore and I miss that, but I know that I have to move on and realize that everything happens for a reason in life. If you are presently in my life, or helped me get through this past year and have lost contact I want to say “Thank-you!” You are truly a blessing in my life and I will NEVER forget your kindness and support to me.


Some things you just don’t question, I now know that this whole experience was meant to be and I wouldn’t have it any other way.