19 weeks.

I have made it 19 whole weeks since my hysterectomy, this is the longest I have gone without pain in 5 years. I am in shock. I didn't have high hopes for this surgery, yet my expectations have been beyond exceeded.
Everyday is a struggle with some minor things. I have recently come out of my shock phase and moved onto the grieving phase of my recovery process. I find it weird that it took 4 months to get to this point. It seems as if all my friends/ people I know are pregnant. I find it very hard to stay silent and be a supportive person. I never expected to feel this way towards pregnant people, I feel almost ashamed of how I feel because I know that it is very selfish of me to feel this way. For some odd reason I wish I could feel a baby kick me, and feel what it is like to experience your body changing for a tiny life inside of you. At times I feel like a failure as a woman.
My body is experiencing weird things that I should not be experiencing at just 22 years old. Everyday is some new challenge, but I am learning to take it all in stride and day by day.