I'm broken

How does someone overcome the hurt they feel deep within themselves?

This thought has crossed my mind many times over the past 8 months.
Truth is..

I hurt.

Everyday.

I hurt.

deep within' me is a feeling of being lost.

I thought that once I past the first year of having the TAH I would feel alot better than I do.

Don't get me wrong, I did feel alot better.
then....
I met someone.

Truth is, I haven't felt this happy in a long time. I don't think that I have ever loved someone like this guy. It's a weird feeling to have that much feeling towards another being that I havent even known for that long.
yet, I look at him and feel sad.
I feel like I am cheating him out of the perfect life.
He has known since the night after our 2nd date what he was signing up for and he has had many outs, yet he hasn't taken them. Why? I am not quite sure.

When I look at him I feel like he could do better, like I am not a whole woman..

No one knows how I really feel deep down, it's taken alot of strength to admit this feeling. It's a feeling I am unsure on how I should react.

Part of me wants to let him go, to not be selfish and let him be happy with someone else, while the other part of me feels like I deserve someone as great as him, because...
DAMNIT I have struggled enough.

life owes me this much to be this happy.

As we settle on another night together and we lie back to back I will thank God one more night for a guy like him and hope that this lost feeling will slowly fade away and I can not feel so guilty about this life that I live.